There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Houston, we have a squirter
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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