I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize