Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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