New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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