All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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