I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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