do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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