I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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