have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize