He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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