Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize