so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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