I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you traded sex for a burrito?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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