Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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