Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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