can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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