I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize