he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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