What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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