Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
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I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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