Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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