matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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