I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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