She's JV to your varsity
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
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