i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize