I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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