I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize