I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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