The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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