Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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