I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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