Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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