I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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