i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize