You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you win again, gameday.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize