He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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