I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize