Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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