grandma shit on top of the toilet
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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