I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize