So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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