apparently the secret to your success is patron
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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