I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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