I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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