Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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