Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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