we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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