based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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