as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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