Don't make out with my wife yet
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Randomize